The Real Wendy Davis

It might be better to sit down for this. Sen. Wendy Davis, who dazzled feminist circles with her recent filibuster, has a dirty secret. Take a deep breath now. Sen. Wendy Davis isn't a natural blonde. The sound you hear is Gloria Steinem weeping.

The anonymous owners of the new website The Real Wendy Davis are using their journalistic acumen to take a "closer look at the Left's new feminist superhero." Using carefully vetted research, the site questions Davis' feminist bona fides with evidence of her current attractiveness. How can Davis champion reproductive rights with "perfectly coiffed hair?," the site asks. What is Wendy hiding? Why isn't she covered with lesions and boils?

The conspiracy to dupe true feminists apparently runs deep. Before dropping a bombshell photo of Davis from the 1991 Texas Christian University yearbook, the site directs readers to consider science. A series of photos shows the gradual decay of law professor Glenn Reynolds and President Barack Obama. "Both men were good looking in their late 20s," the site concludes, "and both remain good looking in their early 50s (despite all the guns and alcohol), but no one would suggest they are better looking than when they were younger." But like a Lone Star Elizabeth Báthory, Sen. Davis has turned back the clock. Obviously, she is a witch. Quick, throw her in the water.

The site continues to shatter the matriarchy. "For someone who in the early 1990s was a feminist activist in law school, and who is currently posing as a champion of women’s rights, standing up to men who seek to dictate the way women should live, she seems to have devoted an unusual amount of attention to her physical appearance." The site entreats, "You be the judge, Wendy Davis, superhero, or superfake 'Human Barbie Doll?'"

Just for good measure, the post ends with a nod to pop culture – a video of Aqua's 1997 hit "Barbie Girl." It's an outdated musical reference for an outdated world view.