There are a few things we insist upon when shopping for a brassiere. Avoid bulges, hike some boob support, and stand up straight. This according to the German or Russian matron at every department store who grabs said girls forthwith and manhandles them into submission. "You will sign ze papers!" Bet you never considered a real emergency though.

We've covered some strange masks and bras in this space, between the husband-hunting bra/timer, the rice bowl bra, and bejeweled flu masks. Ever thought about how the cups of a bra are already about the shape of a face mask? Well, the survivalists at Emergency Bra have, and they dared to dream up this device which separates (and lifts!) to yield two masks, one for you, and one for your fellow refugee. Note the satiny straps, which easily convert to adjustable head straps for a tight fit against "contaminated bypass air flow"; feel the comfort of flexible inserts along the cup rim that hug the nose (and provide more lift for your mess); inner cap liner/filter that "acts like a butterfly valve during inhale cycles." The original model will set you back about $30, and thrills with red lace inserts, as you can see. We don't know quite what to think of the T-shirt, except that her bust doesn't look so hot. Let's hope she's in the right place at the right time.