Up Too Early

You want to know what's in that backpack? Excess testosterone.

You wish you looked like this much of a badass when you walk down the street. Note that this guy isn’t wearing plaid cargo shorts, docksiders, or a peach Izod polo shirt – not that he couldn’t totally get away with that shit, he just chooses not to. Fashion is about choices.

Really, you can never go wrong with a wife beater, a pair of gangster jeans, and some Airwalks…unless you’re not this guy. He looks like he’s about to punk the Google car. Chances are he could probably kick the Google car’s ass too. After all, it’s probably only a Prius. If he keeps walking, he will eventually end up in an Abercrombie and Fitch ad. He literally has that much game. Guys like this are conscripted into ridiculous shit like that all the time. He could be Calvin Klein’s pool boy, but you know it would go badly because at some point Calvin would end up getting all drunk and mouthy and this guy would have to bitch slap him in front of his friends. Calvin’s eyes would water up and he would feel a sense of betrayal and it would just be heartbreaking for everyone. Being Calvin Klein’s pool boy involves more than just lounging around getting Coppertone massages from old gay men. It’s about understanding emotional vulnerability. Luvdoc Fashion Index: 9.8 (those dogtags are just a little bit metro)