Dame Edna: Hold your horses, possums

Sad news for those anticipating Dame Edna's long-awaited first visit to our fair city, and while I could break it to you in my leaden prose, how much better to hear it in her own beguilingly spangled, lilac-scented language. From her native Australia, she writes:

Dear Loyal Possums,

No woman is indestructible, not even me, I am afraid.

I have lived an unselfish life nurturing others with no thoughts for myself. I call it "putting something back," and I notice every little glamour puss has copied this phrase.

However, the other day my personal doctor, after the usual checkup, told me there was a little feminine procedure I needed that could not wait.

"Not Botox!," I said in horror.

"No," he said, snapping on his surgical gloves, "but if you want to go on putting it back, I have to take something out."

"What about my Austin possums, and my other adoring fans in Texas?"

"They love you, and they will wait," said Dr. Shadenfreude (a Tommy Lee Jones look-alike).

Texas is no country for sick Megastars, so I will see you in November, possums. "You will be back at the height of your powers," said the doctor – and I will.

A joyous heart always,

Dame Edna

The Paramount Theatre, which allows that the unnamed medical procedure was an emergency appendectomy, says that tickets for the Dame's January appearance will be honored for her rescheduled shows Nov. 7-9. Ticket holders also may exchange tickets for another Paramount-presented show or obtain a refund, but this must be done by Feb. 29.

And while nothing can truly take the place of Dame Edna, the void left in the Paramount's January schedule is being filled with something scrumptious, possums – for Ridley Scott fans, anyway: more showings of Blade Runner: The Final Cut. For more information, visit www.austintheatre.org.